Normally, I would be waiting until my draft folder was empty, but I'm in a good mood. I haven't posted for the last few weeks because I was sick of the repetitive boredom of my life, but that might be about to change. Today I met a new epal. I went against my usual rules about age limits and avoidance of last minute plans. I agreed to see a movie on an impulse with a complete stranger. I had a very good time. I arrived about 30 minutes late(due to an almost comical set of events), my epal was already in the theater. Since I came that long way, I decided to go see the movie by myself. Guess where I ended up sitting?

Right next to my epal.

I will write more in another blog, but now my dinner in the microwave is done, and I have prep for tomorrow.

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Friday, April 4, 2008
Waste of time. A real waste of time. That would be the title of this blog entry if it had titled entries.

First, I have not been blogging for a while. As the days turned into weeks, I noticed the incredible similarities (and repetition) between the blogs that I had in my draft folder, and blog entries that were yet to be written. Also, I continue to allow my job to suck the life out of me. Also, my meeting with Drama Queen's (step) mother gave me the idea for the title.

Below are a couple of emails that were sent to DQ's mother recently:

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FIRST EMAIL
Hello Ms. D.,

I hope your weekend was a pleasant one. I'm just writing to let you know about DQ's progress. I think she could be doing much better, but I think she has gotten too comfortable with seeing school and class time as her play time. Today (Monday, March 24th), I finally had enough of the disruptive playing and sent her out of the room. Every few minutes, there was some kind of distraction with DQ. When I asked her to stop, then I would get the "Okaaay"(with a smile on her face), only to have another couple of minutes of her doing the same (or similar) thing. Followed by another "okaaay". A couple of minutes later, DQ is whispering for Cackler across the room. Again, "Okaaay"(smiling). Ten minutes with her hand up, wanting water (I wanted the math assignment finished). Besides, when one asks, then 7 to 10 will do the same. My rule is before the lesson or after but not during. Then I get DQ's "why" questions (smiling) knowing the girl who got water did it when my back was turned without permission. Then it was DQ leaning back relaxed commenting (out loud) how easy the assignment was, and that she was finished. When I checked, she did not complete the lettering which needed a fraction and decimal equivalent. Then it was "oh, I didn't understand that part. Then it was, "Oh, I need help". Then, back to the cross the room conversations and invitations for Cackler to "come" (talk) to her. Then back to the "Okaaay"(smiling). Since DQ seems to respect her second grade teacher more, I sent her to Ms. S's room.

Please speak to DQ about taking her work more seriously. Too often, DQ looks for short-cuts. She rushes through her assignments, at times putting anything thing down. During computer lab, while checking homework, DQ had submitted a very rushed (incomplete assignment). By the time she completed the homework correctly, the 45 minute period was finished. Then, she switched to her "Drama" mode. She got upset that someone was in her chair.

I've attached a progress report. Sorry, it is not as complete as it could be, but hopefully it will give you some idea of DQ's progress.

Again, any questions, or concerns, please don't hesitate to ask.

Regards,

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SECOND EMAIL (A week later)
Hello Ms. D.,

I hope your evening is a pleasant one. I am sorry to be sending another email so soon, but DQ's behavior continues as stated in the previous email.

I hope you don't mind if I write abbreviations (from my annotated notes). I've had a long day, I really don't want to sit at my computer this evening trying to compose a detailed report of DQ's behavior. DQ mentioned to me (smiling) that you read the last email, but did not say anything to her. DQ is getting too comfortable with being rude and disrespectful. Please understand that if she continues, when school trips come up, I won't be able to take her along, nor will she be allow to attend extracurricular activities.

Below is just a few of the annotated notes that I took. Please speak to DQ about respectful behavior towards adults, and the importance of her school work, and the effect of her behavior on others.

March 26th
* DQ (after arriving late) 8:15 began conversations with Cackler and then with Princess Beady. Her response, "okay, okay". When asked to stop with the smiling "okays", "What do you want me to say?". She should have been working, not conversing.

March 27th
* After several "giggling" episodes during the P.E./Health teacher's lesson, DQ's response, "My mom gave me Red Bull so I can't stop laughing".

* Later in the afternoon when I mentioned that you must not have read the email, it was at that time, DQ mentioned (smiling) that you read the email, but didn't say anything.

* Moments later, DQ continued as I was writing down her comments, "My mother's not going to do anything". Then continued talking at her table mentioning that "she (you) are her stepmother". When I mention that I could hear what she was saying. Her comment to me was, "I wasn't talking to you".

I'm sure DQ was not raised to speak to her teacher (or any adult) the way she seems to feel she can. I already sent DQ out of the room when she was being disrespectful. I was trying to not create a pattern this time, but I can't have a student speaking to me like that. As I mentioned above, if DQ can't show a bit more respect for me, I will not take her on (or allow her to participate) in any extra-curricular activities.

Please speak to DQ about her attitude and behavior. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.

Regards,

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After the last email, it took the stepmother about two days to call "acknowledging the emails"(according to her). On the phone she had said that she could not reply sooner because her computer was broken. During the phone call, the stepmother wanted to meet to discuss DQ. She wanted to meet during the lunch period.

Well, she did show up. Five minutes into the meeting, her cellphone went off. And again about five minutes later the cellphone went off again. She apologized and mentioned that that was the reason for not replying to the emails. She said that she just got the new cell/PDA and was having difficulty learning the features. Originally, my plan was to cite further examples of DQ's rude and disrespectful behavior, but something in my gut told me it would be just a waste of time. If those emails didn't rattle her cage (and it didn't), then there was no point in wasting my time. So according to the stepmother, DQ is an only child who (she admits) "likes to manipulates others". And "since she is an only child is spoiled raised by a single mother". As recently as a couple of weeks ago, DQ received a $1,000 puppy. The meeting ended with the same threats -- including the "one more bad report and you don't go to the Dominican Republic". The same threat used several "bad reports ago". The meeting ended with the stepmother taking DQ home. She did not give a reason, but my gut feeling was that they would be doing some "bonding activity". Since DQ was unusually quiet, I got the impression that she was told to keep her mouth shut and look contrite. The next day, DQ was a bit reserved, but the behavior was basically the same. I told DQ her body language was telling me more than she (or her stepmother) wanted me to know. The giggling, playing and laughing told me that some kind of bribe for good behavior was in play. Usually, when a student has been "in trouble" they don't come in the very next day laughing and socializing after mom taking off from work. However, I could be wrong.

On the way out, I mentioned that the school aid in charge during the lunch period wanted to speak to her, the mother mentioned that she couldn't because she was doubled parked.

Oh, I almost forgot. The "official" school photos arrived. Problem? First, the teachers did not receive the usually complimentary portrait shot. I don't like having my picture taken, so that was not a big deal. However, I was a bit annoyed that teachers did not receive a complimentary class photo. I mean really, how much would it cost to print a copy of the class photo for the teachers. Or, if the cost is too expensive, then the company hired should have offered teachers the option of buying a class photo. I would have paid for the class photo. I guess faith is sending me subtle messages. Last school year, since I did not choose to have a portrait taken, I missed the opportunity to have a class photo. This year, the company hired was too cheap to provide one. Oh and another thing. Ms. Across the Hall had 2 or 3 students who had my class photo in their package. And one of her kid's photo pack was in my class set. So what did the kids get? The only offer was a $25 flat fee for a variety of sizes. Wow.

Completion Date - Sunday, April 6, 2008 4:20AM
Post Date - Sunday, May 18, 2008 9:33PM

Thursday, October 4, 2007
Today was a fairly easy day. I received a call from AP1 that the meeting with the worried parent would take place at about 10:15am. Later(at about 11:00am), I received a call from AP1 to bring my students down to the lunch room, they would be watch while I had the meeting with the parent and AP1. I was expecting the meeting to last 15 or 20 minutes. I arrived with my class in the lobby. The parent was there, but AP1 wasn't. The parent told me that AP1 had another matter to attend to. I was hoping for AP1 to be there, I did not want to speak (and show my hand) until AP1 arrived. After taking a long(slow) walk to the bathroom, AP1 still had not arrived. So, I had no choice but to sit and wait. The parent started talking first about how the meeting wasn't really about me.

?!?!?

She was worried about other teacher's attitude towards her son...and then finally, she was worried about her son's work.

To be honest, I wanted the slap, but in the end, it turned into more of a finger pluck. I explained how I was going to share my concerns about her son on the day she informed me of the meeting, but I told her I decided against it. She quickly told me that she really did not want to get me into trouble, she was just worried about her son. I wanted to say, "you sure have a funny way of not getting me into trouble. Calling a meeting with the Admin. is not the best way to express concerns". However, in the end, I didn't say anything. I did show her her son's work so far. She got a bit nervous. I had the feeling that she took the low grades personally. She admitted that she is trying to help her son. She is teaching him multiplication, division, and fractions, and is feeling a bit frustrated that he isn't getting it. She went on about how frustrating it is to know that her son can remember a song or an event that happened 2 years ago, but can't remember something she is teaching him now. I tried explaining the human nature of what she just described. I also tried offering suggestions on how she could help her son. Number 1, was that the focus of "help" should be coming from the child not from her. She should be solidifying the basics, not trying to add more before he is ready. Unfortunately, I think she still has her heart set on "having her son earn some kind of title in the future (MD or PhD etc...)". Each suggestion from me resulted in the following kind of response:

OkayokayIseeIshoulddothisandthenthisand...

I wanted to say lady, get a grip...But I didn't. By the end of the meeting(about 12pm), I think I made some progress. I just hope it was enough. I think the meeting went very well (from my point of view). From a determined parent, to a parent grabbing her purse (seemingly) eager to leave. Stupid me, when I am on a roll, I don't know when to shut up and walk away. The meeting could have ended in 15 or 20 minutes, but I didn't know how to end the meeting. I was on top from beginning to end, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut.

Oh, what happened to AP1? AP1 arrived about 10 minutes, opening up with "our curriculum is challenging, and becoming more challenging. She was also very happy that I didn't come to the meeting empty-handed. When she saw that I was able to support myself with the student's work, and she saw that the parent wasn't really angry... but concern, AP1 took off. Strange. She must have had another emergency.

The meeting finally ended during the kids'/my lunch period, so I did not have to pick up the kids. I did have to return to the room to allow a couple of students to get their lunches. By the time, I was ready to get my lunch, the lunch period was almost over. I decided to put my milk and juice in the refrigerator. With only about 2 minutes to go before it was time to pick up the kids, the UFT rep. tells me that there is union meeting in the teacher's room. She said that she put a notice in the teachers' mailboxes, but I don't remember seeing any notice. And since there was only one other teacher who just happened to be in the teacher's lounge at that time, I suspect she might have forgotten. I hate being late picking up my kids. I like getting my kids before the mad rush starts. But, I ended up staying for the "shorten" meeting.

With no time to eat, I grabbed a couple of oatmeal cookie bars that were left out for the meeting.

The afternoon was fairly nice. I had one period to teach, then I had my planning preparation period (I like afternoon prep periods). Then, small group. Here in NYC, the last period of instruction is what is called the 37.5 small group (literacy)instruction. Only those students in need of tutorial assistance are supposed to be in attendance. Whereas in other schools, the 37.5 minute period is optional for students, at my school it is mandatory. Although I suspect it is from an Admin decision that it is easier to have one dismissal time instead of two (that is just my opinion), the (official) argument that "all of our students would benefit from the 37.5 minute period" is a valid one. Even though I have my entire class during the 37.5 minute period, I like the period. Actually, I am supposed to have someone in my room during the period to work with a small group as well. The third group is supposed to be of independent workers. However, this year like last year, I've been assigned an out of classroom teacher whose schedule is often too busy to allow him to assist me with a group of 5 kids. I think my co-teacher has only assisted twice since school has started. I am from the old school, if work has to be done, then I don't waste time worrying if "so and so" will be here to do his part. My main concern is the lowest group of readers (my group), the middles (the music teacher's group) and the (relatively speaking) high readers can work independently. My area of weakness is getting the groups settled on time so that I can work with the lower group.

Okay, moving on. I left school about 6:30pm. Sorry to say, I've started to ignore that annoying fire drill bell used to say, "get out now". Although next week, I really am going to have to make an effort to get out earlier so that I can get to the gym. I know most (if not all of you) reading this blog have given up on me ever going to the gym. However, I will prove you wrong...eventually. I now have Tuesday as my start date to start working out at the gym with a Monday through Friday routine.

Anyway, I was out of the building about 6:30pm, and I got caught by the talkative, extremely talkative kindergarten teacher. I had a feeling she was in a talkative mood. It almost looked like she was waiting for someone. I saw her "looking" at bulletin boards. I walked past her and went to the lobby bathroom thinking she would be gone when I got out. Out of the bathroom...she wasn't there. Outside the building...there she was. Caught!!!!

She talked about the lack of loyalty for the principal. She talked about how she moved two classrooms worth of books and furniture. She talked about how she has to organize her classroom closet. She talked about the problems other teachers bring to the school. She talked about the house she fixed up with her daughter. She talked about the tumor on her neck. She talked about how she stopped eating fish on the advice of one of the security guards. She talked about the tenant problem she had. She talked about the loan problems she had. She talked about her bank being bought out by another bank. I'm trying to paint a mental picture. The lady likes to talk.

The one-sided monologue went on for about 30 or 40 minutes. After a day of kids shouting, banging and screaming, I needed the peace and quiet of an evening walk to the train station. This lady was giving me a headache. Looking at my watch didn't help. Slowly walking didn't help. She would start walking with me, and then somehow end up in front of me. She even talked in the middle of the street. Okay, not really in the middle, she was more like 3 or 4 feet in the street(still talking). With the traffic light changing (yet again), I told her to come back to the sidewalk. And she started talking again. The way I was feeling, if I had mace, I probably would have used it. After about 20 or 30 minutes (time just seemed to stop), she decided that she could walk (with me) to the train station. And she continued talking on the way.

In hindsight, it is possible she might have been afraid to walk to the train station. Although, she often leaves the school late, sometimes later than I do. Also, she talks a lot in school. On more that a few occasions, I have had to walk my class around her while she was talking in the middle of the hallway about something or another. I forgot to mention, she also talked about how she does not drive her car because the alarm doesn't work and she is worried about disturbing her neighbors. For those of you wondering, if I had thought it was a matter of fear, then of course I would definitely have walked her to the train station...any train station she needed to go to. Incessant talker or not. Unfortunately, I was tired, and annoyed and I wasn't thinking clearly. I just wanted to get away from her. Sorry. In the future, if I see her again -- I will avoid the urge to run in the opposite direction. If it is dark outside, I will offer to walk her to her station.

I ended up arriving home about 8pm. Another tiring day, with no dinner. Out like a light in a matter of minutes of just "resting for a few minutes". The upside is that I've lost a few pounds from skipping dinner. Now, I weigh about 197lbs.


Post Date - Sunday, October 7, 2007 6:19pm

I just reread what I just posted. Yes, I know. There seems to be a smack of hypocrisy with my statements about the kindergarten teacher. So, I think an apology is in order. However, I still believe I don't talk as much as the kindergarten teacher. My conversation are usually topic specific, after that, I don't really have much to say.