It’s all relative…more or less. There is a little bit of math involved.
Last night, my father’s lady friend’s son came by to visit (his mother). Her son is one year older than I am. Her son also brought his son to visit his grandmother. Why? He wanted his son to see grandma – or is it correct to say “to see his great grandma. First, let me say that the family is a very nice family. Each and every one of them has been a pleasure to know. Each one is generous, and would (I believe) go out of his (or her) way to help someone in need. Unfortunately, I was just a little troubled by the situation. Basically, a kid showing off another kid. Only the grandmother (or great grandmother) has shown real skill in raising children. Yes, I know so of you will see an irony in the previous statement.
I asked the son (the one about my age) how it feels to be a grandfather. I was surprised by the look on his face. Anger? No. Hatred? No. Embarrassment? No.
Confusion. In my opinion, the idea just didn’t seem to register. Looking at father and son, I couldn’t help getting the feeling that I was looking at a couple of guys (pals) hanging out at a friend’s mom’s house. The concepts of family, or responsibility just seem to vaguely hang in the background. I should have just let things go, but I was in one of my moods. During the course of the visit, I referred to the son as grandpa. “Grandpa, you must have a lot more responsibilities now. Grandpa, you must be feeling a lot older now. Grandpa, you must be feeling a little bit different now.” I think by the 4th or 5th “Grandpa” comment, the concept was starting to sink in…a little. The topic of the conversation changed. The son began to talk about the job tests that he had taken, and the skills that he had. What about the fatherly responsibilities? He did mentioned, “now that this one is 19, he is on his own. I just have 4 more to go.” When mom (or grandma, or ….I’m confused). When mom made a comment about his kids, the son quickly reminded her of another neighbor (or friend?) who had 7 kids (same age [I think]).
There was also a little bit of conflict. The 9 month old seemed to be hungry. The father said that he had already given the baby some milk. The great grandmother said that the baby needed more than just milk. I felt a little sad watching this 19 yr. old kid chew up fried chicken and then feed it to the baby. While this was going on, I think the father (the one my age) was playing with….uh…using his cell phone camera to take pictures of everyone.
While this was going on my nephew (my sister’s son) came into the kitchen area. His mother is the same age as I am. I think I am 4 months older than my sister. She recently gave birth to another child (her 3rd child). Wait! I think I am a few months older than she is. We might have the same birthdates. You are probably thinking how come he doesn’t know his sister’s age.
Actually, I am living with my former foster family. I’ve been a part of this family since I was 12. What about my original (or birth) family? There isn’t much information given when a child is put into foster care. However, I was lucky!?!? The agency gave me enough information to find my original (or birth) family if I wanted to find them. What information did I receive?
My mother was 16 when she gave birth to me, and my father was 32. I was born in Bellevue Hospital. I was placed in foster care immediately after birth. My first foster mother was Hispanic. Hey! I could have been bilingual.
Well, anyway. From my glowing birth information, you can see that there is not much worth searching for. It’s all relative….more or less.
Friday, September 16, 2005
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