I was invited to attend a Burlesque show. The ticket price would be $5.00. I am a little nervous because I am not sure what to expect at the show. I am also not fond of the idea of walking in this neighborhood late at night, not to mention riding the trains. Am I really exposing my nerdy personality?

It is about 2:00pm. I thought that since I was on the computer, I would start my blog entry now. The plan for today is to meet at 6:30 on the lower eastside of Manhattan. We would walk around for a few hours, and then go to the show.

This morning about an hour after I fell asleep (I went to sleep about 3:30am), a mouse that was caught in one of the glue traps I’ve laid down woke me up trying to get free. It was flipping and flopping like a fish out of water. It flipped about 2 feet a couple of times with the plastic tray glued on, there was no way it was going to stay caught. And sure enough, it escaped. I think I need to invest in better glue traps.

My plan today was to cut my hair, do an hour on my rowing machine, then take a bath before going to the evening show. Unfortunately, I got out of bed around 12 midday. Spent too much time on the computer. Now my plan is to just cut my hair and shower.

Gotta go…



I am back it is now late. I will try to summarize as much as I can.

After I finished cutting my hair, I showered. About 10 minutes after I showered, my walking friend (no, not the same as the Staten Island friend) called me; he told me that his ankles were not feeling well, so he wore flip flops. He wanted to meet an hour later. However, I told him that if he was not feeling well, we could reschedule the walk. He told me that it was just his ankles, so I suggested that we only go to the show. He agreed.

The new meeting time was 9:30 for the 10:00 show. I was told that I should meet my walking friend near the F train at 2nd avenue. Since there were two exits, I was told to find the small park near the station. When I stepped out of the station I found a small park, so I took out my book, “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” and read for about a half an hour (I arrived at 9:00pm). At 9:30, WF called to ask where I was. It turns out I was at the wrong place. I was supposed the come out the other station exit. This exit also had a park nearby.

After meeting up at the correct place, WF introduced me to two of his friends that he’d asked to join us at the Burlesque show. WF was wearing a T-shirt, shorts and flip flops. Both friends seemed very nice, and left a very good first impression. One friend was an older guy with a cane. The woman was nice, but a little bit too talkative; she also apologized a little too much. She apologized for conversations she had while walking 3 or 4 feet ahead, or 3 or 4 feet behind me. I couldn’t hear anything she was saying, so it wasn’t necessary to keep apologizing.

Since his ankles were hurting, WF in flip flops wanted to take the bus to the Burlesque show’s location. We were about 10 blocks away. The friend with the cane convinced us to walk. While walking, the Ladyfriend told me that I could find out my racial composition for about $250. I really did not know what the value of that information would be for me, but I just said that was interesting.

Ladyfriend talked a lot in the bar area. She seemed to need to be in each conversation, even if a comment was not directed at her, she would ask, “what did he say?. What did you say?

In the bar area, Ladyfriend continued talking. To be honest, it seemed like it was very difficult to finish a sentence without her changing the subject, or interrupting. She asked WF if he was free to see a video next week, then she asked him to rent the video. When I told her that I’d seen the movie, (it was “Fahrenheit 911”) and thought that it was interesting, she almost insisted that I tell guy with cane about the movie. I thought the guy with the cane was very nice, but it was hard to hear him, Ladyfriend would keep trying to get his attention to hear about the movie that she wanted WF to rent with his video rental card. Later, noticing my book, she asked about the book. “Oh, that’s a kid’s book. I read that book in 7th grade. But, it is okay, a lot of adults read kids’ books. What’s that book (turning to guy with cane) with the kid who studies very hard. You know that kid who is really good…” Harry Potter (said Guy with cane). “That’s it!! A lot of adults read that book.” While we continued waiting, someone who was making the rounds to talk up his burlesque show in September. The advertiser (with an Elvis wig on) kept the Ladyfriend occupied.

The doors opened at 10:35 (more than 30 minutes late). The first thing Ladyfriend said was that “she was not paying 5 bucks for that show”. Guy with cane paid first, WF paid next. I was last to pay for my ticket. The doorman let Ladyfriend in so that she could ask someone in her group to give her the money. Ladyfriend asked the other two guys for a loan (I am so glad she did not ask me), then argued with WF in flip flops for not giving her the loan. Guy with cane eventually paid for Ladyfriend’s ticket.

My impressions of the show.
Basically, following the expression, you get what you paid for, I would still have to say that I enjoyed the experience of going to a burlesque show, even though I was not comfortable with women standing on a stage to take off their clothes. Over-all, I would have to say the show came across (to me) like a burlesque show for poor men. I didn’t really give my opinion about the show then and there. WF seemed to really, really enjoy himself. He seemed to be a really big fan of the show. He knew all of the performers. He commented on how good this show was because of the curtain. According to him, the curtain added some mystery to the show. I sat behind WF (and Guy with cane). Although WF is around my age (40), he looked like a kid seeing Santa Clause in person; he looked mesmerized by the performers on stage. I really didn’t want to say anything bad about the show.

Just a few observations. I think all of the “performers” fishnet stockings were torn, worn or had holes. The “performers” did not really have “stage bodies. One was very tall and very skinny. Another was a full-figured lady. There was a bit of cottage cheese served up with several of the “performers”. The stage hand/performers assistant had a bit of a belly.

I know. I know. Someone with his own issues with a spare tire, not to mention being told more times than I care to count that I am not attractive, I really should not be speaking about the ladies’ appearances. The only reason I am mentioning the appearances is because the basic premise of the show was the “ladies’ physical attributes”. As far as burlesque goes, I think that this show was basically a watered down strip show. I do believe the women were very professional (no pun intended), and there was no sleaze factor. I think the ladies really did their best to give a good show. I thought my money was spent well (relatively speaking). I don’t think I wasted my money. I was happy to have been invited to the show.

So, what was the show?
The bar had an occupancy rating of 74 people max. There were two rooms (not including the bathroom) the front and the back. The front was the bar area, and the back was the theater area. In the theater area, there were about 20 to 25 seats. The stage was very small, maybe 5ft. by 10ft. The show was about an hour in length.

The show opened with two “performers” who were cousins (according to their opening dialog) deciding who would host the show, so they had a dance-off. The tall skinny lady won. There were 5 performers (not including the guy who was taking the role of stagehand/ ladies’ helper/ cousin somebody or other. Sorry (although I am very visual), I should have been able to remember the characters’ names, but I didn’t. Except for one!

The performers:
The mafia princess – (the only name that I remembered) her most memorable act was the encore she did, where she did a routine to the theme of the Sorpranos’ theme song. A bit ironic that that was the routine where she was putting her clothes on. She had prop guns to go with her act. I thought her act was cool, I was just annoyed with the gum chewing. I know it was a part of her act (princess- get it), but I really did not find anything sexy with a 20-something blowing bubbles with her gum.

Tall and skinny – Sorry, I forgot her name. She did a routine inspired by the Tonya Hardin scandal a few years back.

Red something – Sorry, I forgot her name. She wore a red wig. Her dance was to a song about being evil. I actually really liked that song. She was the full-figured dancer.

Bling Bling – Sorry. Oh, you know. Her dance was with a rap/R&B song about money. She had the nicest body of all the women. I think she was the only one in a stringed thong.

There may have been one more performer, but I can’t remember anything about her or her routine.

The audience.
I think the front row was mostly plants or guests. They were also the loudest. They were also the tallest in the room. In the front row: there were a couple of woman shouting often “take it off”, an older man taking pictures with a flash, the guy with the Elvis wig, an MC from a previous show (according the WF in flip flops), and an old guy on the aisle with a camera. One of the bar people approached the man with the camera, I am assuming to tell him to not use flash. The rest of the audience was made up of what seemed to be regular everyday people, couples, and women. I really got the impression that there was not anything sexual about the experience, even though the show was about woman taken off their clothes. Or maybe I am misinterpreting the meaning of the burlesque show.

As I mentioned, the show was about an hour, towards the end, there was a raffle. $1 per ticket. The prize was a pink bag with a porn DVD, and a book about a woman (or woman’s issue). The winner, someone everyone seemed to recognize as winning several times. No, I did not buy a raffle. After the show, the “red” character with her top hat (along with the other performers) greeted the guests at the door on the way out. The top hat was for collecting tips. I didn’t mind putting in a dollar. I wasn’t comfortable sitting there watching woman on stage taking off their clothes, but I liked the experience of going to a burlesque show. Unfortunately, I was a little annoyed with the after show activity.

After the show, we went outside, took a few steps, stood, and…started to drift. WF (in flip flops) announced to the group that he had a call on his cell phone. Guy with cane stopped to admire the architecture of the buildings, and Ladyfriend complained about the show because there were no guys in the show. They were like tourist from a “no crime” town in the Midwest. Only when a stranger approached us asking for money to “get home”, did the group snap out of their daze. We walked to the corner, and there…the group drifted again. Guy with cane seemed focused on getting something to eat (he noticed the Dunkin Donuts), Ladyfriend wanted to take a walk to Cooper’s Square, and WF (flip flops) talked about what it might be like to have one of the performers for a girlfriend. Then, ideas (about what we should do) started going back and forth. Finally, I spoke up. I said that I did not care what we did, as long as we did something. I told them that I was not used to standing on a street corner looking lost in the middle of the night, to which Ladyfriend replied, “oh, you’re scared, aren’t you. It’s okay to be scared”.

The group decided to sit in the small green area park in front of a church. On our right was a group of 20-something talking and laughing a little loud. On our left was an old man reading a newspaper (later joined by another man, and they talked quietly). My group was between the two. Very symbolic wouldn’t you agree?

I really did not want to be the first one to leave. I wanted to show that I could hang out like everyone else. However after a while, with Guy with cane walking around the church admiring the architecture, and Ladyfriend (with her fingers in her ears) trying to sing to us, I gave up. I shook everyone’s hand, thanked WF for inviting me. I left. After going the wrong way for about a block, I was able to find 14th street. Once on 14th street, I switched back to my survival senses. Keep an eye on your surroundings, walk with a steady pace, stay alert, etc… I walked from 1st avenue to 8th avenue. I took the A train to 125th street, changed to the D train and continued home to my shoebox.

So over-all assessment? I really did enjoy the show. I enjoyed the experience of being out after dark. I realized that plenty of normal people are out after dark.

Post Date - Wednesday, August 16, 2006 2:51pm